#and i have spent more time working on my cult and just doing runs on darkwood to farm materials ignoring the other bishops fkkxkdkc

[medys-space]

Planning the cult layout

[here-there-were-dragons]

every time i think the "staff can do no wrong and any form of complaining or expressing literally anything other than "yaaay love it <3" with no further comments is bashing and literally evil we should never say anything that could even potentially be interpreted as mildly critical ever because ~some artist who worked hard on this is probably reading the forums and might feel bad if we ever express anything but praise~ also we must be constantly positive at all times unless we're passive-aggressively shaming someone for having an extremely polite and apologetically worded criticism and if you ask the staff for literally anything you had better be prepared to preface it with 3 paragraphs of apologizing for breathing air" attitude is bad on tumblr, i take one look at the forums, and holy fucking hell is it SO much worse on site

[yukioos]

hiii honey!! can i request a leon and ada drabble kinda like ur ashley and leon one? but this time reader takes a liking to both but leon and ada don’t like each other?

BE MY BABY

SUMMARY: on september 29, 1998, you first met leon kennedy and ada wong. six years later, you are sent to rescue the president’s daughter from a town in spain. the last people you expect to be there are leon and ada, who both seem to have an attraction to you. unfortunately, they seem to hate each other more than ever.

WARNINGS: not proofread, cussing, reader’s in the military, ada and leon literally hate each other

AUTHORS NOTE: hi guys! please send resident evil asks because i had so much fun writing this! this is kind of like my ashley and leon writing, so it’s not necessarily a full-on oneshot. it’s basically just ideas. this is 1.1k words.

being in the military is hard work. hours on the field and time-consuming training and meetings have tired you out quicker than you expected. but there is one thing you know for sure: being in the military isn’t for everyone.

september 29, 1998 was the day that changed your life. living in raccoon city was great, it had a supportive community and historical sites to visit once and a while. you’d just gotten home from a mission that took half a month to complete. you quickly became a lieutenant, and ever since then, your days have been filled with leading troops through missions.

however, you didn’t have much time at home before you had to evacuate to the police department because of the zombies. on your way to the department, you met a man who claimed his name was leon kennedy, and he was a police officer who was supposed to start his job that day. he was a sweetheart, far too kind and caring to be deserving of dealing with a traumatic outbreak.

for the hours you spent together, you learned a lot about him, and vice versa. he was a sweetheart, but you could see the sadness and pain behind his eyes. this certainly wasn’t how he expected his first day to go. unfortunately, it was as if the zombies were perpetual, almost every time you’d turn a corner, a hoard would be walking toward you.

the two of you then met a supposed fbi agent, who introduced herself as ada wong. she was mysterious, leaving randomly with no answers, leaving you feeling annoyed. there was something different about her, something wrong. you believed there was no way an fbi agent would randomly leave an officer and a lieutenant on their own to do their own thing, especially not in that situation.

you eventually parted ways with the two of them and found yourself safe for a short period.

six years later, you still remember leon and ada, secretly hoping they’re still safe or in touch. the trauma had followed you, and when you were sent by the president to find his daughter, you of course accepted. it seemed iffy that she was kidnapped by a cult, in a rural town in spain, but nonetheless, you did what you had to do.

he stated you would be accompanied by an agent, who he didn’t name. only when you saw another person standing by the police car to drive you to spain, did you realize who the man was.

leon fucking kennedy. he was actually alive.

your heart flutters as he gently says your name, “y/n?” and you softly smile, you feel exhilarating, and happiness runs through your veins.

instead of a quiet ride, like you would have preferred with anyone else, you and leon discuss what had happened the past six years. he had become an agent with the role of protecting the president’s family, and at the same time, you were moving up the ranks as fast as lightning. the president wanted the best and most talented people to save his daughter. luckily, he chose the perfect team.

you ask what happened with ada, and your heart drops once he tells you she’s a spy.

she seemed genuine, but your suspicions were proven right, she was just trying to get the g-virus and bring it back to her boss.even after hearing all that, you still feel sad for her. she went through so much, and the only two people who went through exactly what she did probably hate her.

but when exploring spain, you never would’ve expected to see her again. you persuade yourself to trust her again, because, in the end, she desires the best for the world.

leon feels the opposite about ada. he hates everything she does, every little word she oh-so confidently says, and how she’s always doing so much for you. she left the two of you, she doesn’t deserve you, as he thinks. he doesn’t want you and him to get manipulated again, and he thinks the two of you share the passion of hating ada.

leon took in all the words you said in the car ride to spain, but was mostly focusing on your plump lips. the way your lips would stretch into a smile, the sides curving upwards, would make his body feel warm. he missed you so much, more than words could describe. every day, he thought about seeing you again. he didn’t even know you were still alive until he heard the president mention your name once. as he spoke highly of you, pride bloomed in leon’s chest. he knew you before you became a very well-known military asset.

leon knew he fell in love easily. hell, he fell in love with you the first time he saw you at the police station. you were in the prettiest outfit, and once you escaped the department, he saw your necklace that had been lying on your chest, dropped on the ground. he kept that necklace for the next six years in hopes of bringing it back to you one day.

he gave it back to you in the police car, telling you straight up, and how he had hoped he would see you again someday. the gratefulness and red cheeks made him quietly chuckle. he secretly relished in the idea of you being flustered and touched because of him.

in 1998, ada felt the need to protect you and leon, she thought she felt attracted to him at one point. she then realized the idea of being with you would be much more wholesome and better for you. leon was just a rookie who didn’t know anything! there was no way you would warm up to him quicker than her

the rookie hardly knew anything, he clearly wasn’t taught to be weary of other people. he was too gullible, in ada’s opinion. there wasn’t many good things about him. his jokes weren’t funny, he didn’t have many appealing qualities, so clearly she was a much better partner for you.

seeing you in your cute, dark blue button-up blouse and black skirt makes her eye you like a dog eyeing a cat. she wants you all to herself, and will do anything to gain that. she would gently lift your chin or tease you while talking to you, asking “are you listening? seems like your mind is somewhere else.” and hook her arm around your waist to redirect you to a different path.

but she and leon knew the other won’t give up on attaining your love. i mean, who wouldn’t want you? you are the most perfect person ever, perfect qualities, perfect beauty, perfect skills, and that’s something they can both agree on. the spy and agent both want you to have the best partner, but both believe they are the one for you.

you hate how they can’t see eye to eye on what you think about the two of them. you love both of them. leon’s chuckle and jokes make you feel like you have a heart attack— in the best way possible, though! he always finds a way to brighten your mood whenever you are feeling upset and will voice his concerns about you. he was straightforward, and you love that in a person. another reason why you love him is that he’s one of the most handsome people you’ve ever seen. whenever his eyes wander into yours, your cheeks feel a little too hot beyond comfort.

ada is beautiful, and you are sure of one thing. red is her fucking color. i mean, god, you’ve spent days just thinking about who could wear red better than her, and that wasn’t even one of the main reasons why you love her! the way she does everything in a confident matter makes you adore her, she seems so sure of herself. she was so strong and far more talented than anyone you’ve known. the way she effortlessly avoids danger like the back of her hand, and protects you from it as well, makes your cheeks flush.

how were you supposed to choose between two of the best people in the world? the hours you spend with them are supposed to be calm, besides finding ashley, but instead, it’s stressful. all that time you only think about finding the president’s daughter, and the two love interests that cloud your mind for eternity.

[salbei-141]

A second chance (Emmett x reader)

Masterlist

Part 2 (Good girl, stay quiet for me)

word count: 2.7k 

warnings: 18+ age gap (reader is early 20s and Emmett is late 30s), eventual smut in part 2, angst, cult like stuff, allusion/mentioning of sexual assault, death, etc. 

a/n: I watched ‘A Quiet Place II’ recently and I’m feral for Emmett y’all, they knew what they were doing when they casted Cillian Murphy. John Krasinski doing God’s work.

Seeing as I feel like I have an issue of rambling to fit description in, I’m making this 2 parts instead of like a 6k one-shot - don’t hate me lol

Enjoy my loves

:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’d come across Emmett a few weeks ago now - you think. There was no real way to tell time anymore; the clock on your watch still ticked, but you’d lost count of the days long ago now.

You were on the run when you had come across Emmett’s safe place - you had been with a group - only for about 2 weeks - before you realised you needed an out, and you needed one quick; it was a shame because they’d managed to find a fairly soundproof bunker - you thought you were safe. With that, you spent the next few nights sneaking about different storage rooms and searching duffle bags, until you had enough gear to survive and run someplace else. It had been a week in this new group when you started to hear quiet whispers between its people - you couldn’t quite make out what they had been saying, but the looks you’d receive from people were enough to tell you whatever was being whispered was about you. One night, you had needed to go to their makeshift bathroom - it was risky, but you couldn’t wait. On your way you could hear quiet murmurings amongst 2 people - it was the guy who had found you - Alec you think his name was and their leader if you’d call him that - James.

“We need to initiate her soon James, it's almost been a week - you told me to go find a girl, bring her back, and we’d initiate her.” your heart paused, and there was a dull ringing in your ears - what the fuck were they talking about?

“You better keep that mouth shut of yours, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to like that”, James’ voice had venom seeping through each word he enunciated - he had spoken so gently to you on your arrival, something was off, and you felt your gut twisting with anxiety.

“Sorry Sir, I didn’t mean to disrespect you.” you could hear the tremble in Alec’s voice - he was scared, and it didn’t comfort you one bit.

“Look, we need another week, and then we will proceed with the initiation...we must follow the guidelines of the holy one Alec - she’s young and will be ready to take you when we are given guidance for you to do so. This cannot be rushed Alec boy, do you understand?” You had no clue what James was talking about, but it wasn’t hard to piece things together you were in the middle of some sort of religious cult, and you were chosen for some sick ‘initiation’ that you weren’t going to allow yourself to be apart of even if it meant you had to die.

“Yes Sir.” Alec had replied meekly.

Scuttling back to your bed, careful to make no sound as you heard the two men shuffling about, you ignored the need to empty your bladder and squeezed your eyes shut hoping no one had seen you.

Since that night you had noticed people were becoming more handsy with you, acting like they had a familial connection with you. Over the next week, you’d listen into conversations when you could, trying to figure out when the ‘initiation’ was. When you heard it was going to be at the end of the week, you had to make a guess as they had a single calendar in James’ office that you couldn’t enter. From the night you heard this, you had decided upon leaving the next coming night just to be safe - you had collected enough belongings and hid them outside in a bush one night when everyone was sleeping.  

It was the night, and you were trying your best to not appear jittery, but the reality was you were scared - you knew the moment these aliens or whatever the fuck they were invaded that the most primitive sides of people were going to be revealed - it was the sad reality of human nature. Going through the day with no issue, you were eventually sat eating some soup like everyone else in silence as usual - you had tried making conversation the day you got here and was immediately reprimanded - that should’ve been your first warning sign.

With the sun set and everyone in their makeshift beds, you lay upon your own, waiting to hear the quiet snores and breaths of everyone around you. You were probably waiting for around 2 hours before you decided you were safe. Since surviving for as long as you had, you’d become an expert at sneaking around, making no noise. Walking out of the room as you had done on several nights, you came to a set of stairs in the bunker and made your way up them, making no noise. Then came the door - it had been recently sprayed to loosen the hinges for when the men would go on runs, so it was an easy process too. Pushing it open, you were met with a harsh breeze of fresh air. Closing the door behind you, you crept to a bush in the far corner by a densely populated area of trees. Leaning down, you were careful putting the backpack on your shoulders. With a success, you took a hunting rifle you had stolen from the floor, hooked it on your right shoulder and made it through the trees.

Your heart dropped instantly - you were barely 5 minutes in and you found yourself on all fours, having tripped on a wire. The bastards, they’d set them up around the bunker - you felt stupid to have not thought about this, but you needed to pick yourself up and run as a shrill sound started to ring all around you. Suddenly you heard the door of the bunker crash open and there was shouting - they knew it was you, but you didn’t care - you could only think about running, your ears were concentrating on the beating of your heart as adrenaline pumped through your body - you couldn’t hear anything around you. That was until you heard it screech - was this it for you? Pushing your legs faster you heard as guns were shot - maybe or maybe not successfully killing those things, you didn’t care to turn around and look. Continuing to run as footsteps were gaining on you, you came across a train track and followed it up, noticing several large decrepit buildings - this could be your chance to escape them, and you were taking it.

Noticing a hole in a wire fence, you pushed your way through, not caring enough about the rattling of the metal as you went through. Unknown to you, there was a trap set up, similar to the one outside the bunker, and you yet again found yourself tripping over some wire, causing a clashing of metal bottles to go off. There it was again. The fucking screeches of those creatures. Picking your tired body back up, you made a beeline to the first building you could see. Halfway there though, you heard the metal rattle of the fence, turning you made eye contact with Alec.

“y/n get back here right now damn it! You ungrateful bitch, we were going to give you a good life you know!” he was screaming over the sound of the creatures and gunshots that were much further away - you were convinced they were going to attract every single one of them things in the country to your location.

Another screech sounded to your left, causing both you and Alec to turn. Without wasting any more time, you continued to the building with Alec hot on your heels.

“y/n I’m not -” Before the man could continue with his pathetic sentence, you heard a scream come from his mouth. You couldn’t find it in you to feel guilt, you were almost happy the thing had gotten him - you felt disgusted at the fact you believed he deserved it, but that was just the way of this new world. 

Getting into the building, still hearing Alec’s screams, you were praying it’d be enough for the creature to not follow you. Just as you were about to press your back against the wall, you felt a hand cover your mouth, and an arm trap you against someone’s chest. Fear shot through you again - they’d got you, they’d won in the end, of course they’d have. However, a new unfamiliar voice hit your ears as you squirmed in the foreign pair of arms, “Shush, follow me”.

Calming your movements, but still on guard, you turned to meet the eyes of this man - they looked tired, and kind almost, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to let your guard down. Watching as he quietly jogged through the building, you decided to follow him as he said to - you didn’t feel like you had much choice - it was either you follow him or you had a worse fate with the other surviving men of the cult, or the creatures.

Darting between metal barrels and concrete slabs, you came up to a drop - watching as the man jumped into the large pipe, you made no hesitation to follow suit. Landing on some broken sandbags, you weren’t given the chance to admire the room as you heard another screech emitted within the building. The man opened what looked like a vault of sorts and waited for you to jump in - it looked cramp, but again what choice did you have right now? Jumping in, the man followed and shut the door. The both of you were sat panting, heart rates accelerated at an unhealthy speed. As you watched the man open his mouth, your eyes immediately went wide - there was no way he was about to compromise the both of you after all of that.

“Don’t worry they can’t hear us down here.” his voice was muffled behind the mask he wore, but you heard.

Instead of replying, you looked straight in front of you at the wall, thinking about the last few events - still trying to catch your breath.

Hearing a beep, your head snapped up - you looked like a deer caught in headlights - every minor sound had you on edge. Watching the man stop it, he went to open the container, but not before you reached for his arm, “What the fuck are you doing?”, you shot him an incredulous look at his actions.

“We’ll be fine now, and if I keep it shut any longer we’re dead - it’s shut airtight in here.”, he continued to open the vault again as your arm came back to your side.

Your heartbeat still hadn’t calmed down, and you could feel the palpitations of it as the man exited the container. But nothing happened - he was walking about his room with ease - he looked relaxed. Taking a deep breath, you walked out too, standing still when you made contact with the concrete floor - you were safe.

“We can talk down here too, but only in whispers” You nodded in his direction, almost not catching quite what he had said.

Watching as he sat at a desk covered in drawings, you took the liberty to take the other seat further from him, but still close enough. You couldn’t bring yourself to take your eyes off him, and he must’ve known because he turned around looking you dead in the eye. Taking the mask that covered his features off, you felt yourself stop breathing - he was attractive, as attractive as a man could be considering the conditions everyone was currently in.

“So what was that out there?” he asked nonchalantly, leaning back against the desk, and spreading his legs.

“I was running.” your voice was much quieter than was necessary, almost impossible to hear, and your eyes glossed over - now that you really had the time to think things through, you realised just how dire of a situation you had been in, and how different things could’ve been.

“I see. They ain’t gonna come back here are they?” you couldn’t blame him for putting his own safety first - you were an intruder to him, and he had every right to worry.

“I don’t think so.” you inhaled deeply, musting up the courage you explain the situation, so he’d understand - you were worried he’d make you leave soon. “I think they were some sort of cult...they uh wanted me to uh go through with this initiation thing. I think they were going to do something to me...mentioned about how I was ‘young’ and uh ‘ready to take’ one of the guys.” you were playing with the slightly calloused skin on your hands, fearing his response.

“I’m Emmett.” is all he said...was that a good sign?

“Oh, uh I’m y/n.” you gave him one of those awkward smiles you’d offer to people you’d pass on the street.

You were just sat staring at each other - neither knowing quite how to interact with the other - you were 2 introverts in a room, and you weren’t going to be the first to speak up again.

After a few minutes of intensely holding each other’s gaze, you looked back down at your hands just as he spoke up again, “You been by yourself this whole time then?”, he was trying to understand how you’d gone for as long as you had out there - you didn’t look too old, so you must’ve had people before this group surely.

“uh I was with that group for about 2 weeks I think, then before them I...” your head started buzzing at the memories - what was going on? All you were envisioning was the death of your dad - neither your mum nor brother had even made it out of the house with a fighting chance. You remembered how your dad had stupidly dropped a bullet on the floor, you’d thought you were both okay - it was a silly mistake, and it wasn’t too loud. But you were wrong, so so wrong. You watched as a creature had jumped your dad and ripped him limb from limb as you stood in shock - hearing him scream out in pain between attempting to tell you to run, but all you could do was watch as the thing killed the last remaining person you knew.

Emmett furrowed his brows at your sudden silence, you look dazed. As he placed a cautious hand on your shoulder, he watched as you flinched at his touch - he felt a sudden surge of guilt, giving you a sorry look.

“uh sorry, was just thinking. I was with my dad before the group...he’s gone now.” you looked into his eyes, seeing the empathy he shared with you - he’d lost people too, you could tell. You wondered if that’s who the drawings were of.

“I...” He didn’t really have anything to say - a sorry wouldn’t fix things, wouldn’t make you feel better, so he chose to stay silent instead. He could tell you weren’t a threat to him, and against his better judgement he felt a sense of protectiveness over you now - he wasn’t going to let you out of his sight.

You think you had been sat there for about 30 minutes before either one of you spoke up again. “You can take my bed by the way, I think you could do with it.” he was right - your whole body had ached, and he somehow had a fairly okay bed down here considering the conditions you were all in. As much as you wanted to be polite and refuse, you found your legs taking control, and before you knew it, you were situated on his bed as he put some materials on the floor, so it was comfortable enough to sleep on.

With you curled up, Emmett started blowing the candles out one by one before laying himself down on the floor. With silence filling the room, you whispered a quiet goodnight to him.

“Goodnight y/n.” he quietly responded back with - it felt strange speaking to someone like this - he’d been alone for a while now. The both of you rapidly fell into the open arms of sleep, feeling secure with each other’s presence - you felt like you were safe here, and you hoped you were right this time.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

🌶️ nsfw HCs for jjk men 🥵 general sexy times~ what are they like in bed?

ooo, IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UPPPPP!!!

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna.

Sugru Geto

Cigarettes and feelings keep me Laughing when everything is all fucked up

C O R R U P T I O N  K I N K  DO YOU HEAR ME?!

He sees himself as dirty and ruined and he needs to see that in you too. 

His loves how you look when you’re choking on his cock

He loves it so much he’s gonna take a picture! He’s big on recording you in your most vulnerable moments

Mirror on the ceiling so you can watch him fuck you stupid

I hope you have a degradation kink cause he's going to call you his stupid fucking whore

But hey! At least you’re his stupid fucking whore!

He needs to push your limits. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, and what you're willing to do to get his praise.

Unlike in your daily life, his praise is rare in the bedroom. That’s what makes it so intoxicating when he finally does give it out. You’re still going to have to work for it though.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE: he hates to be called daddy. Call him literally anything else, but the moment you say “Daddy” he’s over it

Now Sir on the other hand? Sir will always make him act up, use it strategically, lest you get pounded in a dirty bathroom.

He gives me the vibes of someone that would convince you to drop ex or acid then fuck him for a “religious experience.”

IDK maybe that's just me seeing the cult leader in him.

All of that being said, I also think Suguru has mastered the art of aftercare

During the act he’s a monster, but after? Nothing but praise and love. He’s worshiping your body while cleaning you up, cuddling with you for as long as you’ll let him. 

You need water? He’s getting it. You want a bath? Say no more he’s running it for you.

He never wants you to think he’s just using you for your body.

Even if he is.

Satoru Gojo

Set my alarm, turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned loverboy

My most controversial Gojo take is that he’s actually not all that experienced

This man has spent his entire life either as a child or raising a child he didn’t have a lot of time for romance.

Not only that, but having sex with someone is an inherently vulnerable position to put yourself in. Man’s got too many enemies for that.

BUT that does not mean that he isn't willing to learn for you!

Gojo is above all else adaptable, and his main goal in the bedroom is to get you off. He’s willing to do whatever you need. 

Honestly, that’s probably his kink. Overstimulation. He wants to make you feel so good you're delirious, he wants to make you cum so hard you forget anything other than his name. 

He is the king of oral. It’s his favorite thing, eating you out through multiple orgrasam until his face is soaked in you. And he’s good at it too. He knows exactly how to make you  melt under him.

His dick isn’t thick, but it is long, and weirdly pretty for a cock. He also uses a ring light to take dick pics. Tell me he doesn’t, you can’t.

He’s also very vocal. He likes when you're loud, it’s how he knows he’s doing something right. So, he’s pretty vocal as well, wanting to let you know just how amazing you make him feel

when he's not telling you about how good you feel, he's kissing you. He LOVES kissing you, its like a drug to him.

Gojo struggles a lot with the feeling that people don’t really like him, so he has a praise kink. On both the giving AND receiving end

I also feel like he’s really into lingerie, and has no problems dropping a paycheck on a new set for you. 

Definition of “There’s a difference between fucking someone and making love.”

God, I hate that phrase but I'm genuinely not sure how else to get my point across lmao

When ya’ll are just fucking, he tries to play the part of a big tough dom, dirty talk galore, overstimulation to the point of tears, the man is a beast.

But in your quiet moments, when you’re, for lack of a better word, making love, there’s a 63% chance he's going to cry.

He gets overwhelmed by his love for you, and the realization that you love him for him, 6 eyes or not. It gets to him. 

And the best part? He’s not even embarrassed by it, because you don’t shame him for it. He’s truly safe with you

Kento Nanami

Hey pretty baby can you feel that heat? You got me twitchin to the edge of my seat

Dare I say daddy kink?

I do, I do dare. Nanami knows the type of person he attracts (riddled with daddy issues) and has decided to play into it. 

I feel like Nanami never loses his composure, even in the bedroom. He could be giving you the ride of your LIFE while calmly explaining the stock market to you. It’s part of why teacher Nanami is so appealing to me I’M SORRY-

“Are you paying attention? This is going to be on the test.”

He says as he's skullfucking you into oblivion 

Despite his calm composure, he's big on dirty talk…mostly as a way to ask for consent and gauge how you’re doing at the moment. He’s still Nanami

“You like that Princess?” “Beg for me.” “Tell me what you want,” All phrases that pop up commonly in your bedroom

He’s a panty snatcher, there I said it. He’s taking your panties with him when he leaves your place. You can get them back the next time you two get together. 

He is prone to taking out his frustration on you in the bedroom when he’s had a bad day.

Not that you're complaining, nothing like his thick cock splitting you open after a rough day, amiright?

Public sex. Nanami loves covertly fucking you, in various ways, and watching you try to keep your composure. Be it him finger fucking you under the table, or reminding you that you have guests downstairs while he rails you in your bedroom, he likes to test your volume control.

In a similar vein, phone sex! He’s away on “Business” a lot, so late nights on the phone with you are basically a necessity for him. 

M A R K I N G. You think it’s  childish? He doesn’t fucking care he needs EVERYON to know you’re together

Hickies everywhere, dark ones that don’t budge for days, even weeks

Brat tamer. No, I won't explain, look at him. 

He’s probably the best dom, even if he is a softer dom. He's going to discuss your hard and soft limits, safe word, and discuss the red yellow green system. Your comfort and safety is his number one priority. 

Going hand in hand with that, Nanami has mastered the art of aftercare. Anything you need, he’s got, anything you need him to do, he’s doing. He’s showering you in words of affirmation while trying to rehydrate you.

Also He’s cuddly. He wants you to fall asleep resting on his chest while he traces lazy patterns in your back. It’s his ideal way to go to sleep.

Ryomen Sukuna

My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God

BESTIE idk how many different ways I can tell you not to go near this man, but let's find out

For one, he’s incredibly selfish, prioritizing his pleasure over yours every time. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t at least try to get you off though. Nay nay, getting you off is a part of his pleasure. Because it strokes his ego. 

Daycraphillia. Be it from pleasure or pain, he loves to see your tear soaked face.

This man is PACKING btw. It hurts at first everytime no matter how ready you are for him. The king of curses has the dick to back up all the shit he talks, you can’t convince me otherwise

He’s got four hands and he’s gonna use them all. Fingers in your pussy, on your tits, in your mouth, in on your ass. You're going to feel like you’re drowning in him.

Degradation. You're a filthy little whore, the only thing you’re good for is being a hole for him to fuck.

Does he actually mean this? I mean…shit, maybe! Depends on where you’re at in the relationship honestly. 

He will summon mouths in random places when fucking you. On his palms, above his cock, anywhere. Be prepared to feel a random tongue in random places.

…..breeding kink.

Honestly, I don’t think he’s proud of it. But something in him wants to fuck an heir into more than he wants to breath.

Also, blood and marking kink. These go hand in hand as far as he’s concerned. He will bite you until you bleed with no issue. 

He may not truly love you yet but the moment he stuck his dick in you, you became his. Which means no other man can touch you. Hence why he clearly marks you as his.

Aftercare who? He doesn’t know her, you’re lucky if he doesn’t immediately kick you out of the bed when he’s done. 

The exception being if you somehow managed to rope him into a “real” relationship. I still don’t think he’d be an aftercare king or anything, but he would at least cuddle with you until you passed out. 

Sukuna likes to find your limits, and then push you past them. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, even if that breaks you.

God, this mf is so toxic. Why do I love him?

[dufferpuffer]

In continuation of the 'pillow prince/ss/' topic.. Snape sex hcs? I remember you said it's basically impossible to drag him into bed but I'D TRY.

You're just spoiling me, aren'tcha? First Remus now Sev... Severus Snape is devoted to duty. Its the only thing holding him together. How often does he even go to bed…? A full-time teacher, a spy, a death eater, Dumbledore's dark little knight - He probably considers the time he spends marking 'rest enough'.

His self-esteem is dead. So dead he has come to terms with its corpse and uses it as protection. He's been teased his entire life for his looks. By his parents, by his schoolmates, by his teachers, by his cult, by his students... He's proud of how it has hardened him. It's become part of his ego: He's heard it all before - and now the words run off his oily feathers like raindrops.

Having someone say they think him anything less than hideous? Baffling. But while Remus would become a flustered mess... I think Severus would stages-of-grief it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression… Because his romantic, affectionate side is also a corpse. It died alongside his best friend and he's spent the last decade-and-a-half making sure it stays buried.

To bring it back? That will take a stubborn dedication that rivals his. It takes grit and damn near necromancy. He will fight back, too - because to raise it from the dead is to raise Lily along with it. That is the greatest hurdle: Best friend or love of his life - either way she was the only person he has been affectionate with. He will need to digest that. He hasn't worked through his grief yet, because it is a difficult thing to work through alone. …but he CAN reach Acceptance.

One step, one stage at a time - peeling down each layer of his onion, like an ogre... Things move slowly with Severus - and in the opposite order you might expect. I guess I will go through what a relationship would be like with Severus, in a sorta dot-point fanfic format:

First note: He is allergic to showing weakness - and what he considers a weakness can be... strange. Indulgence. Emotions, affection, touch, company - he has no time for that garbage. He is in control of himself, of his body, of his feelings, of his life. Meticulous, complete control. This man 'tops' exclusively**

He is ashamed of masturbation. It means he has lost control of his emotions - and it grinds against his ego like sandpaper. He almost never does it. Thinking about anyone in particular when doing it is an insult to them - and he hates feeling guilty. He keeps it simple and almost self-harmingly dry. He has more important things to be doing with his time than engaging with this weakness…

You make your interest in him clear. He goes through everything - he belittles and denies your feelings, he gets angry with you for bothering him, he asks you to stop saying such nonsense... and he gets frustrated that even when you've finally shut up, he is STILL dwelling on it. He spends so long just tossing things up, sorting through his grief, imagining it... so, SO sick of jerking off… …when the dam bursts - he fucks. If he is going to be spending all this time obsessing over these stupid feelings he may as well get something out of it. Only sex, though. Sex he is in control of. Clothes on, greedy, not pretty, not nice. 'Thats what you wanted from me, yes? Well you've gotten it. Happy?!?' ((He does not expect the answer to be 'yes'.))

He thinks one time was too many, and did it only to take it off his mind - and to stop having you bother him about it. But it is easier for you to get him to do it a second time. And then a third... fourth... The more times it happens - and nothing embarrassing or bad follows... well, if he has done it once, he may as well do it more, right…? You are evidently trustworthy. '…You may come to my chambers IF I call - at no other times. I am too busy to play silly games.' A casual physical relationship - to solve a problem of distraction and concentration. That's all.

He does start to call. Occasionally at first - and every time he almost shows surprise that you actually turn up. But he gets less and less surprised... and starts getting more and more needy. 'You're late. I sent for you half an hour ago. Do you think I am made of time?!' He doesn't even realize how needy he sounds, because this activity is now ingrained in his routine. He is used to it. And because he is used to it: He touches more. More clothes come off. But never his own. He has gone from 'hands-on-waist' fucking to caressing your naked body - slow rolls of his hips, making his own breathe shudder, enjoying every sensation.

One day his summons aren't replied to. At first he angry. How dare you. How DARE you waste his time!? The next time they are alone he snaps at you bitterly. 'Finally tired of me? Got your fill? Met a better man?' When the response is more along the lines of 'I was a bit ill' or 'I was out'... he realizes he has shown far too much of his hand. How embarrassing. He is speechless at his own foolishness. He showed an inch of vulnerability and expects to be raked through the coals for it. ...What he doesn't expect is acceptance, tenderness and respect.

He had forgotten that he wasn't the one to initiate this arrangement - that he was wanted. Desired. In his mind he had taken control: Everything happened when he wanted, where he wanted and in whichever way he wished. To be touched in a friendly way? To he apologized to - for being made to worry? To have make-up sex offered…? '…Yes. Alright.' Its the next layer peeled off. He starts listening to offers, enjoying being asked instead of being answered. It's still a casual affair - and yet seeing them talk to other people no longer makes his hackles raise in concern for his secrets. Running into them in the morning no longer makes his skin crawl with shame and embarrassment for the night before. He feels excited when they pay a visit in the midday, offering an impromptu meeting. It is oddly... comfortable.

Of course it can't always be sex in the midday. It is too much effort, takes too much time, energy and clean-up. It suits him fine when you jump on the chance to put him in your mouth. At first he is a little taken-aback - but it feels nice. He says nothing other than contented hums, but as you get better he groans and arcs his back a little. He doesn't care what happens when he finishes - swallow or not, as long as it is not a mess for him to clean up. …Well, he tries to be that callous about it… but it doesn't last long. There is a tenderness to the act he can't deny. It isn't the mutual-benefit fucking. This is a gift for him to enjoy. That realization settles and festers in him. It creates a soft feeling he doesn't recognize... and a desire not to owe you anything.

So, without much fanfare: he reciprocates. He gets you on his seat, or on his desk, and gets down on his knees... He is a little nervous about it - when was the last time he did this, if ever…? - But he has no need to be. He is a god with his mouth. It's his attention to detail. His devotion to getting things done thoroughly and properly - even this. What starts as an embarrassing action from the weakness of his heart turns into a strong pleasure for him. He LOVES oral. It isn't him losing control: it's him gaining it. Even when his hair is gripped and yanked, even if he is pulled close and suffocated a little on you - HE is making that happen. HE is making you do that. He never expected this to make him so happy, so hot. He never expected to undo the buttons of his high collar so his neck could move more easily, to unbutton and fold up his right sleeve so he could get his hands messy... To have enough fun to start saying some truly dirty things… 'That good, is it~?' 'My-! How delicate you are today!' 'Stop squirming. Too sensitive…? Just grit your teeth and bear it.' ...and he didn't expect to not be laughed at for such things.

He certainly didn't expect to get so into it that he kissed you to shut you up as you came. A shock to both of you… another wall crumbled. Turns out he likes that too. He starts initiating sexual activity with a kiss. He prefers kissing to talking. It is succinct and expressive. Walk into his office: as soon as the door is shut your back is pressed against it, wrists in his hands, his mouth against yours. If he starts losing control of the kiss he gently bites your lip, dragging his teeth along it teasingly. Your tongue invades his mouth before he has a chance to do it first: he just about shoves your hands into his robes, tearing into your clothes... This man lives for kissing now.

But he still doesn't realize this is more than casual, that this is something he needs… Until you chat. Its a quiet moment. You comment on the parchments rolled at the edge of his desk. 'Oh - that is just my own research into the effects of aconite. I had to work with it extensively a few years ago.' You take an interest, and he starts regaling deeper and deeper into his studies: how poorly documented others' research is; how it reacts to other ingredients; how modern brewing processes can draw so much more out of it - 'you know, the plant is often just passed off as toxic when even basic purification charms are enough to-' ...He is blabbering. On and on about a dull topic nobody cares about… yet you are listening. His jaw drops a little. He realizes that, for the first time in two decades, someone cares. Someone truly cares. About HIM. His thoughts, his interests... He never thought he could have this again. He didn't think that for the sex, either - but sex, compared to this, was easy to procure. He wants to kiss you again. But not for lust this time.

Suddenly it doesn't feel so embarrassing to allow his eyes to become wet, to draw a shuddering breathe as he builds the courage - of which he has masses of - to say something important: '…I am afraid I have come to love you.' It is a terrifying thing to say, but he has never once shied away from saying what is important, even if it results in pain. And yet this time, for once… he feels like he can trust that it wont.

** Many times later, he is laying down as his shirt gets unbuttoned, his collarbone kissed... He doesn't feel ashamed, even as he gently strokes his own dick, encouraging it to harden. He pulls his arms from his shirt sleeves, fearless of his dark mark being exposed. For once work is at the back of his mind as he allows himself to be pushed back down to into the pillows, chuckling as he is told: 'Shh… just lay still darling… I'll take care of you tonight…' ...And he does. Control well out of his hands and a smile on his face.

[jinxcrownguard]

I was supposed to be busy this week/end so I wouldn't have time to watch act 2, but my friend spoiled me unintentionally and it dragged me into watching it in bits between my work. I have thoughts about it.

Act 2 exposes some more of the corny dialog that I had an issue with in act 1, but ups it to MCU territory by having quips and just incredibly played out, on the nose, and cliche moments

Vander's letter to Silco was such an obvious "It's addressed to X, but it's really about Y" moments in the series it was so heavy handed and feankly unnecessary.

"You really are a" "Big stinking hero!" It was corny but made me laugh only because it was Sevika and Jinx. Isha, a literal plot device dropped into Jinx's narrative not three minutes old, obvious death flags from the start, had no speaking lines, and only existed to dangle the idea of hope in front of Jinx only to snatch it away in the most obvious writing decision ever.

Caitlyn and Vi being reunited was bland as fuck like good for you guys I guess but, again, there is so little justification on why they're suddenly back on good terms again. Like I get it she loves Vi, she wants to help her save what's left of her family, but literally why did she jumped to agreeing?? Remember when she found out Jinx was Vi's sister? Remember the hesitation?

Vi told Cait that her dad was the savage monster that killed 20+ Enforcers at Stillwater and she hardly even reacts she just goes along with this plan of Vi's. Ambessa has been helping her secure "peace" for Piltover in their campaign against Zaun for months now. Sure there were seeds of doubt and mistrust, but nothing so grand that it would automatically turn traitor on her. Especially since episode 4 has her defending Ambessa, saying they've only gotten this far because of her.

Not to mention the total 180 from "Zaun's animalistic savagery knows no bounds" to "my girlfriend needs to save her furry father and I need to help her" The only logic pathways we get to answer these lingering questions are weak at best and unsatisfactory at worst.

The Vi and Jinx reconciliation was rushed imo as well, but I've always said that you could understand that because we've seen for ourselves that no matter what Jinx has always loved Vi. And Vi spent seven years of her life thinking about nothing other than getting back to Powder/Jinx. Their rush to forgive one another is rushed but the path to getting there is solid enough that you don't really mind it.

Sevika can never catch a break, hardly in this act but that's okay I still love her. It was good seeing Jinx step into her cqc bag and utilize her shimmer to gain advantages in fights. Caitlyn sparring with Ambessa was great and she looked so pretty. I was happy to have Viktor and Jinx interact at least once, their dynamic was exactly what I imagined, they'd be best friends.

Vi's butt looks great in those leather pants. Corny as it was, Jinx and Sevika's moments are the best part of this act. Jinx trying to calm down Vander during his rampage seemed really stupid and I can't really get behind the logic of it. She should have been running to secure Isha and get her somewhere safe, not try to calm down your rampaging father who's spitting up lava. Like girl you couldn't beat him in his base form, what the fuck do you think you're going to do now?

Singed being a mix of Corrin Reveck and his League self makes sense in the case that giving him Reveck's daughter humanizes Singed to a better degree, but it still feels kind of weird. Man doesn't look like Reveck in the slightest he is straight up just Singed. Identity theft.

It's also very silly to me that Ambessa is doing so little in searching for her daughter, like it's kind of weak that you have all the smoke for Piltover and Zaun but a cult snatched your kid up under your nose and you're sitting on your hands because you assume you can't beat them without lightning in a bottle.

Ekko, Jayce, and Heimerdinger are hardly in season 2 which isn't too surprising. Ekko and Heimerdinger don't have much of a presence in season 1 past a certain point anyway. I know Ekko's time breaking abilities are about to help "fix" this mess to a heavy degree but I'm not going to like it at all. Jinx, once again on the verge of suicide, and Ekko swoops in like "I care about you :(" mind you, he has been presumed dead for months now and Jinx gave next to no fucks about it or the Firelights. Vi still doesn't know that Ekko even survived season 1. Mans is not loved by these two at all. Especially not enough to warrent any sort of relationship with Jinx, I'd literally kill myself it's such a bad writing move especially this late in the final season.

Caitlyn's spec ops really didn't matter in the slightest. Shoutout Maddie for getting the hexstrap but you also do not function as a character. Also her accent was a little off to me in act 2, idk why.

All said and done, act 2 does some things better than act 1, and some things worse. I think it just shows how much those 10+ years of work and rewrites that season 1 got was incredibly necessary because season 2 can not match up by any measure other than it looks good and it's Arcane. But that's about it. I don't really think I'll be watching act 3.

[thegempage]

gonna elaborate on one of the steps from this post of mine about my ideal narilamb dynamic bcus i want to talk about them jfdklasjkfds so go check that out for context

but the idea (which i'm going to put under a cut bcus i love to Talk)

i'm thinking this is like, partway through their decade-ish phase where they're going from "mutual bitter betrayal" to "on friendly terms again," and the lamb is charged with re-killing and subsequently indoctrinating the bishops. which like... is gonna stir up a Lot of feelings (i also hc, in this case, that the bishop situation doesn't come up for at least a few years after the lamb initially defeats narinder, hence being in the mid phase) bcus the lamb thought they were striking down the bishops responsible for the horrors they've faced the first time, and now some asshole in a cloak is telling them they didn't do it right. plus narinder thought he was free of his siblings and ever having to confront the feelings he has about them but now they're going to be Here and he can't Hide Forever bcus he's far enough into healing that the lamb would be sad if he regressed back into isolation (and also he's been getting more involved with the day-to-day cult stuff and him disappearing would cause Issues)

(also. tbh i think narinder starts falling back in love first, bcus i feel like he spent so long stuffing down his feelings that now that he has a body that can Feel Emotions Physically he has a harder time ignoring them. not that he'd bring that up at this point but like, he's in a weird love/hate/desire for healing cycle with the lamb that they are Vaguely aware of but don't want to push bcus their own feelings on the matter are just as complicated and they Do Not want to address those)

so the lamb gets this mission to kill leshy again and take him in. they kind of talk to narinder about it but don't bring up all the details bcus they're not sure what they're going to do about leshy once he's in the cult, and they don't Necessarily trust narinder's first reaction to seeing his baby brother again, nor do they trust leshy to be around narinder for at Least a week or two, possibly longer. so narinder just knows the basics of the plan, and then the lamb fucking Disappears for a bit to get this done. narinder is stewing in his feelings while he runs the cult with the lamb's other disciples and he's not having a Great time. one may even accurately accuse him of having a Bad time. no one is going to bcus fuck if anyone is going to bring up that he seems to be in a bad mood more often these days.

the lamb comes back with leshy. narinder is Not a fan of this choice but it's not like he had any way of denying it, bcus the lamb Has to do something about the bishops or shit is gonna get bad, and even if he wishes they would just kill him, the lamb isn't exactly known for that (their tendency toward second chances, after all, is the only reason he's going through this). the lamb keeps them apart for a while until leshy settles in and it's clear he's not in any immediate danger of dissenting, at the very least. narinder still kind of avoids him bcus he's pissed off that leshy was involved in imprisoning him and he's afraid that leshy is upset with him about tearing out his eyes (he is, but he's not about to have that argument without back up).

and narinder and the lamb have managed to go a little while without arguing about anything big, bcus they're both trying to work on that (and the arguments are never Actually what they're about so it's not like they were getting anywhere), but narinder is so on edge about leshy that he snaps at the lamb and they snap back bcus they're on edge about heket and this mysterious cloaked figure (which narinder can Kind of see but not yet communicate with, for other reasons i have hcs for about his return to divinity and will maybe one day elaborate on separately). they get into a shouting match about the lamb's choices about what to do about the bishops and how much of those choices are actually in their control and how much each of them is upset about these developments and how much narinder does Not want to see his other three siblings again, and really it's about narinder feeling left out of the thought processes and the lamb feeling like they can't trust him to be involved and therefore having no one to turn to bcus it's not like they can address these issues with their regular ass mortal disciples and also both of them are heavily traumatized by the bishops and don't want to acknowledge said trauma. it's messy and loud and they both walk away pissed

but the important thing is after they walk away from said argument they both feel guilty about it. and they've always felt Bad walking away from shouting matches and they've occasionally felt a Little guilty about big arguments but this is the first time they've both been like "fuck, maybe we could have talked that out instead of yelling" so they regroup and apologize for parts of it and kind of talk about other parts (they're still not Completely there, to be clear, we're still in the "figuring out wtf is happening between us" phase) and the lamb lets narinder in more on their plans for heket and asks for his advice on dealing with her after she's brought into the cult and about how much he wants to be involved. which starts the ball rolling faster on them starting to make up bcus now they're on more equal footing and narinder feels less like he's being blocked from the important parts and the lamb feels less isolated in the process of dealing with the people responsible for so much of the pain in their life

and if like.......... narinder has a few dreams that he dwells on for a while or stares at the lamb too intensely during sermons. well that's his business. the lamb definitely doesn't think about him while they run solo crusades or while they're alone in the evenings, wandering around and helping out the night crew with the occasional tasks, not if you asked them

(there's also a decent amount of timespan involved with this, but that's not as important jfkldsajdf in my head this takes place over the course of about four months, from the mysterious seller appearing to them starting discussions about heket, with bringing in all four bishops taking about a year and a half total, potentially closer to two years depending on narinder's reactions to heket and kallamar and the seasons' effects on the lamb)

[lilyoffandoms]

Cian’s Books

Had to redo that CoP cover after it finally hit me what they based this part of the stain glass on.

I’d been trying to place it since I first read that book and for the life of me I could not until a few weeks back when it hit me while riding the bus home from work.

Also, I did actually do that Heist one but don’t think I ever posted it. I’m working on the ILB but ugh my vision is NOT coming together 😅

Cian originally had the tagline of the CoP book as “The bejeweled goddess and the disgraced NYPD detective and exiled prince that brought her cult to its fiery end,” but he decided it was too sensationalist. Trystan learns about the original tagline and finances a one print run of the book with that tagline for his personal library much to Gabriel’s dismay.

Signed copies Cian has sent out to those that helped with each book:

Guardian Angel

Sam - “Gorgeous, couldn’t have done this without you. Thanks for wrangling Dave into his interviews as well. Never enjoyed watching something unfold as much as I did those moments. Top shelf whiskey on me next time I’m out your way. -All my love, Cian”

Dave - “Thanks for all your insights on this one but most especially thanks for arranging for me to meet Cassandra. -Cian” [Yes, he got a picture with her and autograph and yes, she is on his free pass list of celebs.]

The Way

Olivia - “You were invaluable in the writing of this book. Thank you for opening your icy home to me, for teaching me how to survive a Lythikos winter, and for teaching me two hundred ways to murder someone without a trace. You terrify me. xoxo - Your always willing victim, Cian” [yes he’s a serial flirt and yeah he has a death wish hehe]

Riley & “Liam” - “Thank you, your majesties, for opening up the royal archives to me and for your generous hospitality and kindness. I will definitely be back for an actual vacation soon. And will drag Flynn along. - My eternal gratitude, Cian”

Since I hc Cian and my TRR MC, Iara, as being siblings now, here is the inscription Cian would leave Iara and ‘Liam’: “Thanks for always being my biggest cheerleader and for inviting me to write about something so personally close to us all. Thanks for collaborating with me on this one (told ya it was the fun way to see your name in print). Love you to the moon and back, Kaa [his nickname for Iara] Thank you both for the late night dinners, the hospitality, the fireside chats, the drinks, and time spent snuggling my favorite stinky face. Love you all so very much!

The Face in the Flames

Trystan & Gabriel - “Cheers to the two best damn detectives in New York. Thanks for the dinners, the tours, the detailed rundowns, the late nights blowing off steam at The Drunk Tank. Thanks for being the best of unexpected friends. - Love you both more than words can express, Cian P.S. Gabriel, this wasn’t my idea.” [Flynn and Cian became good friends with Trystan and Gabriel during the course of writing this book.]

Ruby - “To my favorite Dr. Death, you know I’ll be coming to you with all the death and dying questions for every book from here on out. Thanks for all the knowledge and laughs. - You favorite murder author, Cian”

Mafalda - “Thanks to you and your agency for all the help you provided me and for giving me so many new ideas for subsequent books. -Cian”

Luke - “Thanks for the dossiers ;) - Cian” [He very much enjoys all the info Luke dug up on Flynn and the rest of the gang.]

Tommy - “Thanks for the drinks and the stories. I made sure to make your nibbling look badass just like you. Already have a new whiskey for you to sample when we visit next. - Cian”

In an AU where Lilah is the detective, Trystan & Lilah - “Thank you for being the two best detectives in New York. Thanks for the dinners, the tours, the detailed rundowns, the late nights blowing off steam at The Drunk Tank. Thanks for being the best of unexpected friends. xo -Cian P.S. Lilah, doll, my offer still stands. Just say the word and let me know when you want to ditch the former king for a middling true crime novelist. P.P.S. Trystan, don’t bother threatening me with the Drakovian Royal Guard, I’m friends with Olivia, nothing scares me except her.”

Veil of Secrets

He refused to write anything in these for anyone since it hit too close to home for him. The only exception was Kate - “Kate, light of my life, my sister, my best friend, and partner in crime. What do I say to the gal that brought me everything good in my life but thank you. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you for everything that was, that is, and has yet to be. Can’t imagine doing this life without you! - Love forever and always and an extra day, Cian”

The Heist

Sonia - “Babe, thank you for all your unique insight and for filling all the blanks that the crew glossed over. Your secrets are safe with me. Also, tell Nash that he owes me a damn expensive watch when you see him next. - Cian”

Nash (my TH:M MC) - “That was damn impressive. Now give it back! - Cian” [Cian sent another signed copy along for Sonia to pass along to my TH:M MC who definitely stole his watch off him during their interview. Sonia passes it along and Cian has a very, very nice watch in the mail a few weeks later. Along with pictures of his watch on Nash’s wrist in various locales throughout the world.]

It Lives in the Woods

Still thinking on these. Mostly because I don’t know the ending I want yet.

My Art Ish Thing Tag (Choices Edition): @storyofmychoices @aallotarenunelma @twinkleallnight @thosehallowedhalls @dutifullynuttywitch

Event Tag: @choicesmonthlychallenge (spooktober - mischief)

[weirdsht]

Out of My Mind (Out of Their Minds pt. 2) - Paseton/Male! Reader

notes: legit spent 5 mins breaking down while writing this because idfk how to spell aquarium T-T.

tags: male reader, mermaid reader, paseton/reader but they are not official, 430-431 canon divergence, cussing

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

Buy Me Dessert

Navigation Masterlist Out of Their Minds (pt. 1)

Crash! 

Baaaaaaaaang!

You watched the chaos going on outside your house from the comfort of your tank. 

Okay, it’s Paseton’s house but it’s not like it matters much.

It’s almost been a year since you started living with the Whale Tribe. At first, everyone was apprehensive about the Whale Prince bringing you home. However, soon enough they considered you as part of their own.

They seem to have a misunderstanding that you and Paseton are dating though. Not that you knew about it.

“What’s wrong? You scared little bitch? Hmmm?“

You hear Archie taunt White Star and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I wish I asked for some snacks…”

Chaos continued on the battlefield. The tank on the rooftop gave you full access to everything happening while simultaneously displaying you.

“So I just have to act like I don’t want to give this piece of paper since it’s from my mom? But it’s not really from her and this is just some bullshit document?”

“Exactly, just taunt them for a bit before giving it up.”

“But what if they want to take me with them?”

You asked Paseton as you clutch the fake document in your chest.

“They wouldn’t be able to get you out of our house even if they wanted to. I promise.”

Paseton reassures you. His confident gaze makes you have courage too.

“So that’s where you’ve been. I’ve been worried sick you know?”

White Star lied to your face casually. You couldn’t help but stick your middle finger at him.

“You’re not that great of a liar you fucker!”

…Maybe you’ve been hanging too much with Archie these days.

The masked man let out a dry laugh before his eyes landed on the document you were holding. How could it not? It’s under-water but it looks perfectly fine. That could only mean that it’s important.

“I see you’ve decided to betray your kind and join hands with the Whale Tribe. Say now my nephew, what’s that paper in your hands?”

“Nephew my ass! I told you stupid idiots that I’m not that desperate for a family to consider you as one.”

You dived down the tank and White Star leisurely followed you by going down the stairs. Yes, Paseton has essentially built an entire saltwater aquarium that has access to every part of his house. He said that this way you’ll be able to go anywhere you want in the house even while staying in the tank.

“Give that document to me and then we’ll go home together. How does that sound?”

Is this guy dumb or what? Just how many times do you have to say that you don’t want to be part of his cult before he gets it in that thick skull of his?

“This is my home you dipshit! And there’s no way I’m giving you this. Mom said this is important enough that it will unite the mermaids and the whales—”

You covered your mouth as if you’d accidentally spilt a big secret. White Star smiled, your “slip-up” just confirmed his suspicion that the document in your hand is connected to the one in Paseton’s pocket.

“That must be the bargaining chip you used so you could hide in here.”

‘Err not really… Wow, young master Cale was right, walk a few steps with this bastard and he’ll run a mile.’

The deposed mermaid prince accidentally showed astonishment in his face. Luckily, White Star interpreted it as his guess being the correct one.

“Give that to me, a child does not need such important things.”

“I’m in my 20s, I’m not a kid. Did losing every battle with Cale Henituse make you dumb or something?”

You swam back up to the rooftop where Paseton deliberately left an opening so White Star could snatch the document in your hands. Placing two hands on the edge of the tank, you hoist yourself up. Making it look like you’re trying to escape.

“Archie! Help me over here!”

The killer whale on the glacier looked at you and stood up to go help you. Just in time, you could see Sayeru snatch the document in Paseton’s pocket.

“It’s time for the missing prince to go home and fulfil his duties, no?”

“Ow! Let go of my hair! Go grab your own!”

White Star not only snatched the document in your hands, he also dared to grab you by the hair. It looks like he fully intends to drag you back home.

“That power is not here.”

“Power? What power are you talking about you bastard?”

You continue to struggle in White Star’s hold as he opens the document with one hand. Just when will Archie get here?

“...This is real. This looks like a real ancient text.”

The lunatic kept speaking to himself.

Sayeru, who heard that said lunatic, ordered the black mages to start casting the teleportation circle.

Okay, now you’re panicking a little. If Archie takes his sweet time getting to here you’ll be a goner.

“Hey! Give that back to me and let me go! Hwy are you even listening to me!?”

You frantically shout but White Star doesn’t say anything and just continues dragging you towards one of the teleportation circles.

“Oh no you don’t!”

“Took you long enough you stupid whale!”

“Is that how you speak to your saviour!?”

Archie snarled at you but you didn’t back down.

“Savior my ass! You sliced my beautiful hair!”

“That could’ve been one of your fins you brat!”

You two argued as you escaped from White Star.

“Are we not taking the mermaid with us?”

“We can get him another time. This takes priority.”

Paaaat!

Sayeru and White Star chatted as the teleportation circle did its thing and allowed them to escape the land of the Whale Tribe. 

“My hair! Do you know just how hard I take care of it!?”

“It’ll grow back you crybaby!”

You and Archie are still arguing even as you arrive at where Paseton and the Whale King are.

“Are they always like this?”

Cale asked Witira after seeing your dynamic with the killer whale.

“I didn’t expect them to get along so well, my brother seems to have a headache though since the mermaid prince has been cursing more nowadays.”

Well, you and Archie really seemed to bond in your own ways so Cale lets the topic go. Instead, he focused his attention towards Witira and the approaching Clopeh.

“Are you okay?”

Paseton grabbed you from Archie so he could carry you in his arms. As soon as you were in his arms you rested your head against his chest. The movement was instinctual from how many times he has carried you.

No wonder why people mistake you two as a couple. Shickler personally thinks it’s just a matter of time before Paseton goes to him to say that his going to marry you.

“I was scared he was going to bring me back to that crazy place…”

You mumbled against the Whale Prince’s chest. The earlier spite you had now gone.

“I promised you remember? I told you that I won't let anyone take you away.“

“Yeah…”

Paseton stroked your badly trimmed hair. His gesture brings you comfort, you still feel a bit shaken up from earlier but being in Paseton's arms reminds you that everything is okay now.

If you asked your past self if they could imagine you feeling safe in the Whale Tribe Prince’s arm he’d probably look at you as if you’re insane.

And perhaps you are. But you wouldn’t want to change. 

[freezingmcxn]

I legit just pulled up your fic and spent the past hour and a half reading it, and like, HOLY SHIT, it had me hooked and so happy to see how you write all of them. Jeff’s personality had me out the window and I found it so intriguing. Jack and Toby’s relationship also seems pretty funny and interesting and I find it humorous to read.

It also makes me wonder, how would you write other pastas, for example Ben, since his whole concept seems incredibly interesting.

(KEEP WRITING, YOU’RE GREAT AT IT AND IM LOVING EVERY CHAPTER !!)

Ben in my AU

You’re the sweetest I’m so glad you like it :D Here’s Ben Drowned’s backstory! Read my au post for more information on the setting, the cult etc :)

Tw: Cult, Child Death, Alcohol Addiction.

Beginnings..

On the day of Benjamin Lawman’s eighth birthday, his father abandoned him and his mother, Lisa.

Ben was left alone to blow out his candles, listening to his mother's sobs from the next room.

Lisa was never the same after her husband's sudden departure, she fell apart, seeking solace in alcohol.

It began subtly, with a glass of wine after work to unwind. Over time, the single glass turned into several, and soon, the bottles emptied faster than she realised.

The demands of single motherhood and the strain of daily life weighed heavily on her.

Ben, even as a young boy, noticed the changes. His mother’s once bright and cheerful demeanor grew increasingly erratic.

Mornings were hard, Lisa often woke up with a pounding headache, her movements sluggish and her mood irritable. She struggled to get Ben ready for school, her patience frayed and her temper short.

Nights were worse, with Lisa passing out on the couch, the television flickering in the background, empty bottles scattered around.

This led to Ben having to mature faster, he had to look after himself and his mother.

He became her caretaker in many ways, learning to navigate the unpredictably of his mother’s addiction.

He would pour out her hidden stash of liquor, endure her angry outbursts, and tuck her into bed when she couldn’t make it there herself.

Despite the hardships, Ben loved his mother fiercely, clinging to the hope that she would find her way back to the person she once was.

¿Salvation?

It was during one of her sober periods that Lisa met David Newton.

His charisma and promises of salvation seemed like a beacon of hope in her life.

Desperate for stability and a sense of purpose, Lisa was easily drawn into his world. She believed that joining his organisation could be the solution to her struggles, offering a fresh start away from her demons.

Ben, however, saw David for what he truly was..a manipulative charlatan preying on his mother’s vulnerabilities.

As Lisa became more entrenched in the cult, her addiction was replaced by an equally consuming obsession with David’s teachings.

The void left by alcohol was filled with zealous devotion, changing her into a person Ben scarcely recognised.

Ben had to attend the meetings held by David alongside his mother.

Ben saw the way David looked at his mother and his followers, he hated it..

Home Sweet Home

When Lisa came home and began packing their belongings, Ben's stomach sank.

David was moving his organisation to the woods, a place where they could be free from the restrictions of society, a place where they could prepare for the end, which, according to David, was near.

Desperation surged through Ben as he saw his mother methodically placing their things into suitcases.

He couldn’t let her go.

He ran to her, grabbing her wrists with trembling hands, his voice cracking as he pleaded.

“Ma, you can't do this. Please, stay here."

Tears streamed down his face as he tried to pull her back into the house.

But it was no use.

Lisa gently but firmly pulled him with her, her eyes distant and resolute, it made Ben’s blood run cold.

Before he knew it, they were in the car, the engine roaring to life.

Ben's heart pounded as the house disappeared behind them, replaced by the foreboding trees of their new lives.

Deep in the forest, David Newton had established a secluded compound, a self sufficient commune that he claimed was a “haven” from the “corruption of the outside world”.

Wooden cabins, hastily constructed and barely insulated, were arranged in a rough circle around a central clearing where a large, makeshift chapel stood, it was a large tent with a tarp thrown over it, symbols and wooden carvings place around it.

Hollowed Out

Ben felt trapped, he had spent months surrounded by zealots who looked to David as their savior, he felt he was the only one seeing through the bullshit.

Ben watched in silent horror as his mother changed into a mere shadow of her former self. Lisa now wore a constant expression of vacant devotion.

She immersed herself in the commune's strict routines, her every action dictated by David.

Every morning, she rose before dawn to attend the ritualistic prayers and ceremonies led by David in the makeshift chapel.

Lisa no longer cared about the things she once loved.. not even her Ben…not even herself.

It was in her eyes that Ben saw the most disturbing change.

She would often sit for hours, staring into the forest, whispering prayers to Zalgo, her lips moving in sync with the other followers.

She spoke in a monotonous voice, reciting David's words as if they were her own thoughts. She wore plain, modest clothing, shunning any sign of her former individuality.

Her interactions with Ben became mechanical and distant, she was physically present but emotionally unreachable.

Agent Of Doubt

David’s followers had gathered in the makeshift church like every other morning, their breaths were visible in the early dawn light.

Newton stood at the front, his eyes wide as he preached the same message about the coming apocalypse and the salvation Zalgo would bring.

Lisa was among the devoted, her face serene and her eyes fixed on David.

Ben stood at the edge of the group, his fists clenched and his heart pounding, he never participated in this, he just watched, he had watched and watched David manipulate the people he lived with…the person he loved.

He felt the anger boil up through his body and reach a new high, he could no longer bear the sight of his mother, lost to this madness.

As David’s voice rose.

“I am the one to save you all.”

Ben couldn’t stop himself..

“This is all a lie!” Ben shouted, his voice breaking through the monotonous chant of the followers.

“David, you’re a fraud! The-there is no Zalgo, and this isn’t salvation.”

The clearing fell silent, all eyes turning towards Ben in shock and horror. Ben stood frozen, glaring at David.

David’s face twisted with fury, his eyes narrowing as he stepped down from his makeshift pulpit. He approached Ben.

“Oh my child..” David whispered, his voice soft but his stare was predatory.

“You are an agent of doubt, a threat to our salvation.”

Ben stood his ground, his body trembling but his resolve unshaken.

“You’re the threat, David.” He spat back, staring into the eyes of the wolf who was about to consume him whole.

David’s head tilted.

In a swift, furious motion, David struck Ben across the face, sending him sprawling to the ground. Ben tried to rise, but David was on him, kicking and hitting with a frenzied violence.

The other followers watched in stunned silence, their faces blank, as if they couldn’t process what was happening.

Lisa stood frozen, her eyes wide but unseeing, trapped in her indoctrination.

David’s assault grew more brutal, each blow fueled by his rage.

Ben’s vision blurred, pain consuming him as he struggled to breathe.

Finally, with one last, sickening crunch, Ben’s body went limp.

David stepped back, panting, his fists bloodied.

He looked around at his followers, his face hardening.

“This is what happens to those who oppose the will of Zalgo,” he said quietly, his voice cold and final his hand shakily pointing at Ben’s body that lay out on the floor.

“Get him out,” David waved at the crowd and limped out of the chapel.

Without a word, several men moved forward, lifting Ben’s lifeless body and walking down the aisles of people.

Lisa didn’t dare look at Ben’s body. she stared forward until he wasn’t in her sight.

They carried Ben to the nearby lake, the water was dark and cold, the surrounding area was covered by trees and there was no sign of life nearby.

They tied stones to his ankles and pushed him into the water, watching as his body sank into the depths, swallowed by the darkness.

Without a word they began making their way back to the camp.

Rundown of Ben in the present day of my au

Ben’s spirit now roams the Durham forests, tethered to the lake that became his final resting place.

He appears dripping wet at all times, his clothes cling to his gaunt frame. His eyes, once filled with defiance, now reflect a deep sorrow and confusion.

Ben is extremely timid, often hiding in the shadows of the dense forest, making him an elusive presence.

Bound to the lake, he lingers near its edge, the place of his tragic end.

Ben does not know what happened to the cult or his mother; his memories of that night are fragmented and hazy.

He thinks of his mother often, wondering if she ever escaped the cult’s grasp.

When hikers occasionally pass by the lake, Ben retreats, hiding among the reeds and behind the trees.

He watches them with a mixture of curiosity and fear, too shy to reveal himself..

Sally Williams, another spirit in the forest, tries to reach out to Ben. She senses his loneliness and the weight of his sorrow.

Despite her gentle attempts to communicate, Ben remains quiet, shying away from her.

Hope you enjoyed my take on Ben! My asks are always open I love getting them :))

[coyotescribbles]

Dead Signal [Chapter 1/?]

*sigh* Did my squirrelly ass cave and add YET ANOTHER WIP to the Eternal Pile?

Yes. Yes I did. Thanks, Finding Frankie.

[CW for suicidal ideation]

~*~

There were a lot of things, Felicity Faustus mused, that had led up to standing in line to buy a bus ticket at three o'clock in the morning.

Like a decade and change spent trying to make it in broadcast media, but never actually going anywhere because they "weren't camera-friendly enough."

Like struggling to stay afloat as rent and bills continued to rise, while they were denied raises time and time again even as less-experienced coworkers advanced ahead of them and their other job applications continued to go unanswered.

Felicity had always been a scrapper - it had gotten them into trouble more times than they could count as a kid - but as the months crept by, they felt the fight leaving them as the proverbial water closed over their head.

They would have been lying if they'd tried to say that they hadn't been tempted to end it all more than a few times. The means to their end were plentiful, and it would have been easy to pick one and make use of it.

They'd just never been able to work up the guts necessary to do it.

Instead, they'd aimlessly gone looking for solace in their favorite cult game show, even as they sank deeper and deeper into despair. But cartoons and livestreamed events weren't much of a life preserver when the rest of their life was falling apart around them.

But then, just as they were teetering on the literal razor's edge, the semi-regular announcement was made that Finding Frankie was looking for another batch of contestants.

Four tapes. Four boxes of cereal.

And maybe, just maybe, Felicity had cracked, just a little bit.

In a fit of mad desperation, they'd run up their last remaining credit card buying cart loads of cereal and then, once that had maxed out, resorted to shoplifting even more cereal than they would ever be able to eat. They were pretty sure that they were on some kind of list for that.

They'd only had to open one, though. Just one, to make sure there was nothing hidden at the bottom. After that point, their kitchen scale had been their best friend, looking for one box that weighed a few ounces more than the rest.

The laser-focused obsession had paid off, after four whole months of diligent (obsessive) searching, when they'd finally scored that coveted VHS tape - and their ticket out of this hole in the wall.

(It had paid off for their neighbors, too. All the unopened boxes got dumped in the run-down "community room" of their slummy little apartment building, and they were always gone by the next afternoon.)

They'd spent half of a breathless, sleepless night tossing and turning after that, their heart hammering like thunder in their ears, before ultimately deciding that it didn't make sense to wait.

(It didn't matter that the show wouldn't be airing for another week, and they had plenty of time. Nothing mattered anymore, why should time?)

They'd rolled out of bed, taken a quick, cold shower and gotten dressed, then stuffed their wallet and cell phone into their thigh bag and their Swiss Army knife into their binder, grabbed their jacket, and hurried downstairs to catch a bus to the Port Authority terminal.

"What can I help you with?" The woman behind the counter sounded as exhausted as she looked.

"Can you tell me when the next bus to Dallas leaves?"

The woman stifled a yawn and turned her attention to her computer monitor, tapping away on the keyboard and squinting at the information that her query brought up. "…Eight-thirty A.M. There are only three seats left, did you want to reserve one?"

"Yes, please."

More tapping, more squinting; maybe she needed to schedule an eye exam, Felicity thought to themself.

"That'll be… Four hundred and sixty dollars and seventy-seven cents."

This time, they had to stifle a groan, fishing their wallet out and handing over their debit card.

It was going to use up most of the pitiful little emergency fund they had left in their checking account, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered anymore - not the money, not the debt, not the job or the apartment or anything. Either they were going to win, and the prize money would make everything right again, or they were going to die, and none of their problems would be their problem anymore.

"Credit or debit?"

"Debit."

More tapping; it felt incessant now.

And then there were signatures to be signed, scrawled barely-legible onto the little OLED tablet screen.

And then the ticket was in their hand.

And, just for a moment, the weight of the world lifted off of their shoulders.

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[autumnaaltonen]

i really would like to know what would be alucard reaction to a goth reader and what would be his thoughts on their style and the music they listen to!! ❤️❤️

really love your works btw!!

Alucard x Goth! Reader

Warnings: none

Immediatly thought you were the rogue vampire he and Seras were tracking down, and had one hand on his gun.

Why else would you be wearing only black from head to toe in broad daylight?

It was 6:30pm.

Seras had to quickly explain the concept of goth fashion, and how 'walking the path of darkness' is also an aesthetic, along with a vampiric lifestyle.

Alucard is happily surprised, having only ever spent time around God-fearing humans who would mistake a Hot Topic for a satanist church.

Imagine his surprise when you turn out to be their contact for the mission, having witnessed the rogue vamp acting super sus while being a regular at your favourite nightclub.

When people started going missing week after week, last seen at the entrance to the club, you knew the wannabe Edward Cullen sleazebag had something to do with it.

You walk the two vampires into the club just before opening to show them around, Skeletal Family and The Cult already blaring through the speakers as the bar sets up for the night.

"It doesn't matter if we all die. Ambition in the back of a black car. In a high building, there is so much to do. Going home time, a story on the radio."

Yeah, Alucard digs it.

Discussing the recent victims, you've already come to the conclusion that the rogue is targeting new kids to the scene, teens and young adults who were just getting into goth culture themselves.

Basically, Alucard and Seras were targeting an undead nark gatekeeper.

Alucard admires your smarts and obervational skills, given that you recognized the target without any help from the experts, but you reassure them that they'll know the vamp when they see him.

Before the club opens, you take Seras behind the bar and force her to go through the Lost n' Found bin to suit up. While her military cosplay hugged her in all the right places, the blue and white were going to make her stick out like a sore thumb.

You reassure Alucard that he's already dressed to impress, and that no one will be any wiser that he was new at the club.

"Will my attire not attract any unwanted attention?" he asks you with a smile, as you help Seras with her makeup in the washroom.

"You will have so many bitches humping your leg, you're going to have trouble shaking them off when the vamp breaks into a run. So perhaps you could lose the hat and goggles," you suggest, squeezing Seras' chin as you force a fake septum around her nose.

As the club opens up to the street, in flows a tidle wave of black lace, sequins and leather. Alucard has never felt more at home, and Seras has never felt so uncomfortable around humans in her life.

Just as you said, it takes the two vamps less than half an hour to spot their target. Cake faced, glammed up with tacky chrome, and biting throats at the bar while patrons think he's just some kinky shmuck with some really authentic fake-fangs.

He's not even trying to be subtle.

Alucard and Seras manage to lead him to the mens bathroom, where they have fun pushing the prick around, treating him worse than the poor kids he 'napped and killed.

You stand at the door, not letting anyone in, and telling them that "staff are setting up a gore-fest theme as promo for the new Saw movie."

With how efficient the mission went, compared to the usual goose chase they go through, Alucard keeps your number in case they have another vamp lose in the city.

You already have a list of possible rogues at other goth hangouts you're familiar with, and are more than happy to help keep your community safe.

However, you find Alucard contacting you more so out of boredom than for work, not that you mind in the slightest.

He shows you the real nitty-gritty of the dark side, how shadows and death bend to his every whim without question, given he is the rightful King of the undead.

Alucard finds your style practical and unique, but thinks you can do better than nightclubs and festivals. It doesn't take long for him to take you under his wing as a Hellsing human associate, acting as a bridge between vampires and the living to communicate on undead disturbances.

You become his right hand, not a secretary, but his human voice and confidante. And no one dares ever question your clothes or makeup whenever you walk into a room, because they know the shadows that follow you aren't just for show anymore.

[terulakimban]

The “cultural Christianity” stuff is making the rounds again. And what I think a lot of people who object are missing about that designation is that you have to actually leave a culture to not be part of it anymore, and even then, it will still shape a lot of how you first react to things.

I’m American. I have spent, collectively, a grand total of four months (rounded up) outside the US. My parents were born here. My grandparents were born here. I am pretty definitively culturally American, for all that literally no one in my family identifies as “American” before they identify as “Jewish.”

I can say American culture sucks. There’s a lot about it (yes, I know there’s more than one. Yes, they can be quite different. Yes, there can be a great deal of tension between them. No, that doesn’t necessarily make that much difference from the outside. Yes, that is quite relevant to the extended metaphor I’m going for here) that does. What I can’t do is say I’m not actually a part of it. I’m a citizen. I’m surrounded by other Americans at pretty much all times. I’m not emigrating, I’m not making a point of immersing myself in specific local expat communities as a cultural immersion thing. I’m certainly not “from no country.” I definitely don’t have a more objective sense of American culture than someone who isn’t American and is living here reluctantly. I may have a more in-depth sense of it, but there’s no way they don’t have the basics down, because it is fucking everywhere, and they are constantly running into people who are trying to make them assimilate into it (further) in some sort of attempt to help them be normal. And they, unlike me, have a sense of what it looks like in comparison to something else.

Now. Let’s say I decide I hate America and everything it stands for and I don’t want to live here. But my family’s here, and I’ve got positive memories. I don’t have the money to go somewhere else. So rather than actually leave, I develop a deep fixation on another country. Maybe it’s based on a shallow understanding from stereotypes, maybe it’s a genuine respectful interest. But surrounding myself with a bunch of other Americans while we go on about... I dunno, how much we love England and tea does not erase how we’ve spent our whole lives being American, and it certainly doesn’t erase how we’re still living in America. Let’s say I take it a step further. Let’s say I actually emigrate somewhere. There’s two extremes. Either I fully immerse myself in my new country. I learn the language, I participate in the culture, I genuinely try to immerse myself. Or, I feel uncomfortable because things are weird and different and not quite what I’m used to, so I surround myself with a bunch of other American expats, and we spend all of our time talking about America. Maybe we talk about how much we hated it and how awesome we are for leaving it and how much it sucks and how everyone who’s there is terrible. Maybe we talk about the good things. But we’re still centering our existence around America.

But even in the first of those options, where I genuinely try to acculturate, there’s still going to be things that pop up for the rest of my life where those initial few decades of life in the US will shape my expectations. Maybe they’ll be small things “oh right, sales tax is listed on prices here.” Maybe they’ll be big things “excuse me, what just happened in parliament?” But I will always have that American lens with me. Even if I hate it. Even if I found it traumatizing. That’s not a moral judgement on me, it’s just how formative life experiences work. I can become not-American. I can’t become never-American. 

Cultural existence in a religious framework -any religious framework -works the same way, because religion both has and shapes culture. When I bitch about the omnipresence of cultural Christianity, I’m not calling anyone who is culturally Christian bad. I’m complaining about the pervasiveness of Christian hegemony. When I complain about culturally Christian atheists (which I only ever do in the context of specific behaviors by specific people), I’m not saying “these people are terrible and unredeemable,” I’m saying “there is a very clear pattern of people taking the step of saying they dislike Christianity but then trying to enforce Christian hegemony by claiming the parts they like are secular, thereby effectively coming across from an outside perspective as a continuation of the general attempt at forced Christianization.”

If you hated the Christian family you grew up with and everything about them and Christianity but like Christmas and want to celebrate it, that’s fine. Genuinely happy for you you’ve got something you enjoy! Have fun! Nog your eggs! Deck your halls! Call it Festivus and put up a pole instead of a tree! Do an anti-Christmas where you decorate with Halloween decorations in Santa costumes and celebrate with spooky stuff! But that doesn’t make it secular. It makes it you finding the one bright spot you had in darkness and hanging onto it. I sincerely respect that -it’s difficult to do. The thing is, I’m not in that darkness, and you trying to insist everyone have that light of yours comes across as yet another person shining the interrogation light of “why can’t you just be normal like me” in my face.

I don’t want Christmas. I want freedom from it. “Everyone can have Christmas” in response to “I don’t want Christmas” doesn’t come across as a friendly offer to share. It comes across as an aggressive attempt to force assimilation specifically on people who say they’re actively fighting it.

[oneatlatime]

Atla season two predictions

We're halfway through season 2! I did a post on my thoughts on the show and its characters when I reached the halfway point of season one. My thoughts are mostly the same, and there's only one new character of note (all hail Toph!), so I thought this time I'd mark the halfway point by taking wild stabs at predicting where the rest of the season is going to go. I'm going to try to do at least one prediction per character. This is entirely guesswork. Once the season is done I'll come back to this post and see how prescient/stupid I was. Without further ado...

The season finale will have Azula as the Big Bad and introduce the Fire Lord as the Big Bad for season three. This is exactly what happened in the finale of season one: Zhao was big bad and Azula was introduced. So less prediction, more extrapolating based on existing data. It was a winning formula in season one, so I'm hoping the writers will do it again. I'm also hoping that Azula will follow Zhao's fate because quite frankly I don't like her very much. Tl;dr, Azula and her crew will get swallowed by a giant badger mole spirit.

Toph is getting a subplot. She feels like a character with nothing left to work on, and now that Aang can earthbend, her purpose is accomplished. So she needs another purpose in the story. That, or they're going to leave her behind at some point. I wonder if she's in season three? She'd better be. So either Toph is going to remain a character with no need of an arc, in which case her subplot will revolve around something she already excels at, or the writers are going to throw a curve ball and reveal a heretofore unknown weakness that she's going to have to work around. If it's the former, my money is on one of the idiots from the pro-bending tournament hunting her down to avenge their humiliating defeat at her hands. If it's the latter, my guess would be something intellectual that plays on her high society background. Political intrigue? Spy work? A cult? Maybe she finds out that her parents are colluding with the fire nation? Tl;dr SuperToph, somehow.

Appa comes back. This is not a prediction, this is a DEMAND. He breaks free of his captors (seriously, he went down way too easy), runs away into the wilds of the earth kingdom, and following some innate air bison sense, stumbles upon a lost colony of his fellow bison who escaped Sozin's genocide. (and have somehow remained entirely undiscovered for a century despite being each the size of a house and able to fly to boot well the earth kingdom's got a lot of empty spaces just go with it) They spend a few weeks chilling until Appa gets found. Season three can end with Appa's Air Bison Hunny showing up with a baby sky bison. Tl;dr Papa Appa.

Project Make Zuko Decent gets a new CEO. The current one sucks. Some new character is going to be introduced to provide Zuko with both the motivation and the guidance to become a decent person. Iroh's had a season and a half and made pretty much no progress; Zuko's spent all of season two trying, and has made himself somehow worse. Maybe not worse, but certainly more worn out. Time for new blood. I'd like to think that this show is above cliche, but let's be honest, it's going to be a love interest. They tried it with a kid brother in Zuko Alone and it didn't work. So some nice earth kingdom girl. Like Song, but with more backbone. Maybe she's really good at swords. They can bond over that. I feel like Zuko would be easier to connect with over something he knows he's good at. It would be less fraught than bonding over bending. She also lost her mother to the fire nation; they can bond over that too. The writers laid the groundwork in Zuko Alone, might as well use it. The more Zuko can empathise, the faster he'll get decent. I hate to see a character who exists solely for 'Man Pain' or 'Man Growth,' but let's be honest, Zuko is not self-aware enough to grow without some major hand-holding, and Iroh isn't volunteering. I know that Zuko is on the cover of my season three DVD so his 'get decent' arc has to be complete by the end of season two. Tl;dr Zuko gets schooled.

Sokka has been underutilised this season (as has Katara), so he's going to get something major. The Library set him up to lead the gang to that Earth Kingdom town who's name I forget so they can share the date of the eclipse with the king, but you know Aang isn't budging until they get Appa back. So for the next few episodes, Sokka will be in Master Tracker Mode, using all the skills he learned at the South Pole and more to rescue Appa. There can be flashbacks to him learning the skill from his dad/grandfather/uncles/Bato, then flash forward to see him applying that skill successfully, adapting it to a different climate and incorporating insights he's gained since the show started. We had Zuko Alone, now I want Sokka Alone with the ghosts of his family. Although I don't think Aang would be willing to sit out on Appa retrieval, so Aang's going to have to be urgently needed for Avatar reasons right when Sokka stumbles on the clue that is the key to finding Appa. The group splits and reunites to see the earth kingdom king, Sokka triumphant and Appa in tow. Tl;dr Sokka channels Liam Neeson with probably a lower body count.

Momo is going along with Sokka for aerial reconnaissance.

Katara needs something juicy too. She's mastered waterbending, so her growth has to be personal rather than skills-based. Maybe she gets her world view challenged? Maybe she meets an evil earth kingdom or water tribe person? Evil to the core; she's already met bunches from both nations who are stupid/malicious. Hang on - I forgot about Jet. So she meets an evil water tribe person. In the earth Kindgom. Somehow. Maybe she meets a good fire nation person? How about a fire nation healer/doctor/army medic? Someone who can show her that firebending isn't all bad. Can you heal with any element other than water? I have no idea, but it would be cool if you could. If you really want to challenge her, a fire nation firebending healer who is genuinely compassionate to people of all nations, but who is also proud to be a fire nation citizen and fond of their nation. That would REALLY confuse her. Doubly so if there's some healing technique that she desperately needs to learn from this person. Katara seems like the type to think that one person = one opinion, and that there is only one right opinion, ever, in all things, and that is hers. Show her someone complex, hypocritical, layered, but still a force for overall good. Tl;dr let's torture Katara.

Aang! It's been a while since his duties as Avatar have conflicted with his personal convictions. Actually, it's been a while since his duties as Avatar have come up at all, apart from training and getting chased for being the Avatar. Aang is going to encounter some problem that can only be fixed by an Avatar, likely something like the giant panda from season one. Maybe pissing off the Owl spirit causes unrest in the spirit world? Maybe Aang's going to have to fight a war on two fronts: fire nation v. other nations and spirit world v. physical world? Or maybe Aang's going to have to mediate in a spirit world civil war? Aang's got enough friends in the spirit world that maybe the giant panda and his friends take offence to the owl mouthing off about the avatar and it snowballs from there? It seems to me that pissing off a spirit is the kind of mistake that should have consequences beyond that spirit's episode. And this need for the Avatar comes up just when there's a solid lead on Appa, so Aang has to learn to delegate the Appa-finding to his friends while he's off saving the world. Tl;dr Aang has to do some Avataring.

Iroh needs to get his act together and come up with a better plan than following Zuko at a safe distance. This is more of a wish than a prediction, because Iroh's still very much a big old question mark to me. It's easier to predict what the child/teenage characters are going to do, because apart from maybe Toph, they have limited and already defined means. But Iroh's lived decades. He could very easily have resources, skills, connections, knowledge etc. that viewers haven't seen yet that he could call on at any time. He could pull anything out of the blue and I'd believe it, because that's how the world works when you're a sociable person who knows how to talk your way into things and has spent decades doing so. There have to be some earth kingdom collaborators around from his invading days who could be blackmailed/flattered into helping Iroh and Zuko get back on their feet. Tl;dr Iroh phones a friend. I can see the plot for the rest of the season ending in three ways:

A)Sokka's news about the eclipse causes the earth king to arrange a direct strike on the fire nation capital, killing Azula in the finale. The fire lord escapes, Azula gets promoted to fire nation martyr, and the war enters a new, worse, heightened, far more scorched earth/bloodthirsty state at the start of season three.

B) The Earth King says "yeah kid, we've had star charts for millennia, we know about the eclipse, they know about the eclipse, it'll be the one time their defences are at their absolute highest, this plan is dumb as hell, go away." This is the one I think is most likely.

C) News of the eclipse never reaches the earth king, because it turns out that unless the local king is your nonagenarian former best friend, getting a royal audience is hard if you're a water tribe nobody, and maybe his friend is the Avatar, but he's also twelve, and even in a kid's cartoon letting twelve year olds have a say in national policy is a bit of a stretch. The eclipse nonsense remains a one-episode occurrence that was just the set up required for Appa's Appa-napping, and the rest of the season is spent de-Appa-napping Appa, until a surprise appearance by Zuko jr. and her girlies in the finale.